You didn't expect this

I've reached the acceptance step of grief.

I've mourned you and the loss of a seemingly great friendship. Then, all the anger that has been building up over all these years surfaced And finally I seem to be accepting the "great" loss.

No one could ever see why were friends to begin with, and I was never able to help them understand; it is our history that binds us together, I'd say.

And then I found that history alone cannot bind you; you must be able to see that person being a part of your future as well.

You have done well to eliminate yourself from being in my life in the future. You did that all by yourself; with your hurtful, selfish, jealous words.

I really don't think you expected to loose me over this. I think, like always, you expected the hurt and dissappointment, but not this. You expected me to forgive you like I always do. You expected an invite to my wedding. You expected to be a part of my life, but not of our lives.

I simply cannot allow that.

I am here; exactly where I want to be, where I am supposed to be. I know that with every fiber of my being.

To put it clearly and simply: I am choosing him, our life and our future.

I am leaving you behind.