Chloe

Driving home from Thursday Night Dinner, telling B about the article I had read earlier in the day: Gay men are pulling out all the stops in order to have biological children.

I was explaining that I was feeling very passionately about that subject matter. Should I try to be part of it? A surrogate? An egg donor?

He was asking why I didn't feel more passionately about donating to straight couples, but I couldn't give him an answer. I just feel like I need to be a part of something; something bigger than this life that I am living.

Do I want to have a baby? I stared at him and said I didn't know. Maybe. I think so.

We aren't at a good place to have a baby, but we can get there, if thats what you want.

Maybe thats why people have children; to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Do you think that's what it is?

I think so, he said.


Progress in the form of conversation about the deepest desire of my heart.

I want to name her Chloe.