Ramblings

I am now reading both The Art of Seduction and What Should I Do With My Life? And I’ve had to bring home more highlighters from work to satisfy my hunger for the information contained in both these books.

Last night, I was in between being tired and being awake and a thought came to me: Why haven’t I tried to do what I love as a career? Why haven’t I ever put myself out there expecting to fail but hoping to succeed?

After getting up and looking for a movie to lull me to sleep I thought about the series of events that brought me and B together, and I finally allowed myself to feel transported into the world of the future. What a beautiful world.

Then listening to the radio this morning I thought, “Does it ever seem that families who haven’t centered their lives on religion are often more peaceful than those that have?”

My friends are now getting married and having babies. We’re twenty –two! We’re so young! So why does it feel like we’re so old?

What if I were to work with rape victims? What if I could put help other girls by being open about the hell I’ve been through? I had a dream that I was at a conference of some kind, speaking about all the things that I’ve had to face in my life and I was so eloquent, so truthful, so hopeful. Maybe that is what I am supposed to do- find a cause?

The five year anniversary is approaching. June 27. My self proclaimed “day of mandatory fun”. If I can live through five years, I can live through five more.