depression and winter

I dont know why it hits me all of the sudden. I dont know why I've been fine for so long and now, I can't control it. i need to talk to someone, whether its him of someone else, but i need to talk this out. I can't write it out this time. Maybe I am finally ready, maybe i am ready to tell. To remember. To embrace my past, in an effort to live for my future. Just maybe
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So, i think I'm okay now. I was sitting at home last night watching Along Came Polly on HBO and thinking that we have weathered heavier storms than this depression I was facing. We have been through quiet, uncomfotable nights together and we have survived. This is part of a relationship, I remind myself, the good and the bad. I am happy, or at least content.

B comes home and is distant, ho hum, depressed in his own way. It continues on to today. I try to remain upbeat because he assures me its not me, and he asmits he doesnt know what is going on with his mood. I get sad for a moment, but then recall that I am that way alot and he always sticks by me and loves me, regardless. I must do that for him. So I occupy myself and get things done that have been neglected because of laziness. I go out and buy a video game for myself, drive around and take pictures of things that inspire me, find new places for b and me to live come April. Ans when i get back, he is better. He smiles finally. Times is all it takes, for me and for him.