Snippets

I’ve been so busy at work, I haven’t found time to write anything worthwhile. Sadly, Breaking Boys will be on hold until things settle down. The tones of the next passages were becoming rushed, and therefore not blending in with the rest. I also had switched from past tense to present all of the sudden. That’s what happens when inspiration runs out. Then, all you have left are words.

I am exhausted from all of this and remember that I haven’t had a vacation in two years. Vacation this year is a must…. My brain needs to take a break for a bit.

I am spending more time away from my mother. I do love her, but the things she says, and doesn’t say, get into my head sometimes and I can’t hear myself over her words. She returned The Da Vinci Code because it might challenge her beliefs too much. "Remember its only fiction," she says to me. She’s so scared to read the fiction novel that she didn’t even begin reading the first page. She will only read it when one of her close Christian friends tells her what a great read it is. My opinion, which is tainted by my unholy decisions, is not worth as much to her.

I am solemn today. I must drive out to Fremont to drop off our rent payment.

…Always afraid I will see Aaron somewhere along those roads. I am forced to drive by so many places that we inhabited- together. It stings sometimes, knowing that he doesn’t even want to be my friend. We were good friends, good lovers, but not good partners.

Fremont has so many ghosts from my past. I think, too many sometimes.

I’ve been listening to the emo garden state soundtrack lately. The melancholy melodies calm me down, make me wish I could sing like that. Have you ever heard the song "Kissing You" by Desree? That song gives me chills every time I hear it. I practice singing that song over and over. Someday I will write/sing a song that sends chills up other people’s spines.

I got scolded for not remembering Tim and Jamie’s anniversary. We aren’t talking to each other so why would you think I would send them a card on their anniversary? Birthday’s yes, but all other holidays, no. I ask if they have heard about our house. Silly me, of course they have! No one in my family can keep their mouths shut. It was probably a bad idea to have my mom over then. She will, no doubt, blab to them about the new house. Rats!

Sorry, little snippets I obviously needed to write about. Nothing substantial I’m afraid.
The one thing hanging over my head is my family, my mom, my brother. Nothing new. But Lost is on tonight. That will be worthwhile.