Breaking Boys 5 (reprise)

The Boy from Niles

"There was the boy who looked five years older, but was only sixteen. The first of many older boys I would date. He was the boy with the earring and the goatee, and he was the first boy of many that my brothers would despise. He was the one who first kissed me, and fondled me without me knowing what was going on. He was the boy with the birthday a day after mine, who displayed my picture proudly to his friends. He was the boy who, I thought, was ignoring me and, in turn, the boy who I broke after only two months."

After unsuccessfully trying to woo one of my friends, the boy from Niles successfully wooed me. I was his second choice, but at that age just being chosen was enough….

He was ruggedly handsome, that much I remember, with a goatee and dark hair and dark features. Apparently he had an earring, which I don’t remember, but have proof of from the picture I acquired during our time together. He was the first boy I dated who was older, only by a year, but at that time the age difference was quite significant. After all, he had already experienced physical intimacy at the age of sixteen and I, at the age of fifteen, hadn’t even kissed a boy. Because of this, I allowed his hands to travel my body at their leisure, unaware that I had the power to stop these sporadic trips.

Although I may have been naïve, I wasn’t completely stupid. We spent the majority of our time taking walks, having picnics, watching television, kissing and holding hands. We spent time with his friends, at church group and going on church outings. And one month into our relationship, I finally realized the power I had over him. It was the power that made him wave my picture around in front of his friends, bragging about how beautiful I was. It was the power that made him ride his bike all the way to my house just because I wanted to see him. There was power in my movements, my words, my breaths, it seemed. I could kiss him, leave him wanting, and he would come back for more.

The end of the school year came, and with that began my power trip. He spent hours studying for finals and I spent several weeks feeling slighted and as if I had lost the upper hand in the relationship. So when he finally called and wanted to see me, I broke up with him, without explanation or warning, leaving him wondering what had changed in that mere two weeks and me feeling in control again.

He was the boy who made me realize my power, but not just my power over him, my power over all boys. I realized I could get what I wanted from him without having to sacrifice any of myself, without having to open up my heart at all. I realized the power of a beautiful face, the power that makes men fall to their knees.